I am not a fly!

I have bugs. Thousands of the damn things crawling all over everything. You can spray as much fly spray as you like but it seems the bugs just laugh at me and say things like 'mmmm, yum! Have you got some more?'. This happened last night as I blearily walked into the laundry some time around 3am and saw what I thought at first was a mouse, but it turned out to be a spider (grown large from feeding on all the bugs I guess). This is a bit like good news bad news. Good news; its not a mouse. Bad news; it is a big ass spider.

Since this isn't my first experience with large spiders (you can read all about it here) I was keen to get rid of it before it produced a million tiny spiders to haunt me. So I sprayed it with fly spray but it didn't do much except hop towards me (I guess the spray was a bit cold). After a few failed squirts I realised it was immune to fly spray and since I didn't have any spider spray I bludgeoned it to death with the can (it took a few goes but eventually the fly spray won out, even if it wasn't used in the way intended on the can).

I have mentioned the horrendous bug problem to the people who manage the property (in the real world they would be called real estate agents, but here they are better known as our glorious overlords who would be quite at home in a mediaeval feudal society) and was told they would be getting a person out to spray the place soon. That was 7 months ago, so I am guessing soon means something different to our glorious overlords than it does to normal people. So for now I will just have to keep a tin of fly spray handy in order to beat the bugs to death while I wait for 'soon' or die of old age.

Also, I put the flatted spider carcass in the garden as a warning to other big ass spiders