NaNoWriMo

Last year was my first attempt at NaNoWriMo. And I didn't finish it. About halfway through I realised that if you are going to write 50,000 words it is probably a good idea to at least have a plot... or a clue. So this year I am prepared. I have a plan, a rough outline of what each chapter will be about, and a month to do it.

Whats big and red and green all over?

I got a new puppy! He is a cute little thing, I had forgotten how smart border collies are. Needless to say Jack is jealous of Hamish and is always trying to hog all the cool toys (Hamish doesn't care, he has more fun with the bottle of water anyway).

Here are some pictures of how cute he is...

It's alive! It's alive! Mwah ha ha

Jack is the equivalent of a a 57 year old man*, who acts like a teenager. He recently started climbing over the back fence and hanging out with the neighbours dogs.

This sounds like a lot of doggy fun, but what was actually happening was Jack was hanging out near the fence while the great dane cross zombie rottweiler chiuaua in the neighbours yard tries to smash its way through the fence to eat Jack and all his doggy I'm-outside-the-fence-and-you-can't-get-me-nyer-nyer-nyer smugness. Add to this, grumpy miners who work night shift and you can imagine how great it is to come home to find Jack sitting in the drive way with a large self satisfied grin.

At first I started tying him up through the day, only to find he started making his escape at night (keep in mind this is a decrepid old dog that can barely chase a ball or go for a walk longer than 10 minutes). He seemed to enjoy being tied up during the day since this allowed him to get in a good nap for the following nights escapade.


So then I started tying him up all the time and only releasing him for walks. He responded by tangling himself up every hour or so and howling. I haven't slept through the night for a while. Something had to be done. A red cattle dog was not going to out think me. So I did what any sensible person would do...

I put in an electric fence! Mwah ha ha ha ha

* http://www.onlineconversion.com/dogyears.htm

Blackout

You know you live in the tropics when you wait for a blackout to clean the ceiling fans. I'm just pleased I'm not in the middle of cooking dinner or trying not to set my finger nails on fire lighting candles. As a teenager I thought candles were cool- now that I occasionally have to rely on them in the evening as my only source of light (and have pondered more than once the possibility of using them to finish cooking dinner) I think they suck. I would much rather be watching telly while boiling an egg and curling my hair.

But I don't wanna be a pirate!

It seems everytime I move into a place, there are curtains that need to be done. I have been pondering stitching up more curtains for a few reasons, in no particular order;

1. Sewing curtains is boring, I would much rather annoy the dog with his own tail

2. I already have curtains, they just don't fit the windows in this house (perhaps if I just wait, eventually I will end up in a house where they do fit)

h. Whenever I almost finish with the curtains, we move and I replace the curtains with vertical blinds (of course the new house will have differently shaped windows that the old curtains will not fit over requiring me to contemplate curtains again)

IV. Sewing curtains is boring

With this in the back of my mind, and only just recently regressing back into my teenage years by watching endless episodes of Seinfeld followed by the X-files, I found a curtain that rivals the wonderfulness of the puffy shirt.

For those of you not currently watching too much Seinfeld, here is a picture of the puffy shirt for you to compare the amazing puffy curtain with the amazing puffy shirt.

I now have some motivation, if only for a very brief moment, to create the most amazing curtain that will make me grin like a fool imagining the window saying "I can't wear this, I look like an idiot!"

As usual, for everything on the internet, there is always a handy tutorial. This one is from a boy, a girl and a pug. Sometimes its nice to have instructions to not follow...

Looks like a pony, smells like a dog

While we were in Sydney, we had a short visit from Gizmo (a fantastic name for a dog that looks like a pony- such a shame everyone knows Gizmo so I can't snatch the name for use on my own Great Dane that I will own one day (along with the peacocks and possibly flamingos if I ever figure out where you get a flamingo from. I suspect I wouldn't be able to keep one in a small duplex in the middle of a national park)). I thought I would post this picture because its great (no pun intended).

I am also very excited because I have just gotten the overlocker I have been wishing for for ages. In just 30minutes of messing about with it I managed to snap a needle and discover the joys of replacing and rethreading the needle. I don't think I will do that again (at least not on purpose). So here is a picture of my new obsession. Now I am off to see what I can overlock...

Bitter sweet

I had planned on posting a few more things about what I was up to last weekend, since it was a long weekend and I had a lot planned. A few games of golf, some sewing and crochet...

But then something happened that turned everything upside down, and we suddenly realised how little time we have with those we love. All those things we planned suddenly don't seem so important. We booked a flight and within 6 hours of getting the news, we were in Sydney for the day. Its difficult to write this, and it is such a private thing and the internet is such a not so private place.

I guess, the thing that has been most on my mind is the importance of being able to say good bye to someone properly. When a friendship ends, its difficult not being able to finish things properly and to leave so many things unsaid. Underneath it all though, you know that person is still around and you may yet get the chance. But when that person isn't around any more, it is so important to be able to get in one last good bye, to let you know that you love them and that they will be missed.

They are teeny tiny and make a sound like mnmnmnmnmn

After last week, I was all excited and got out all the purple I could find and started making teeny tiny flowers. I had no purpose in mind when I started making them , and until I was asked, never even considered what to do with little crochet flowers.

Then I thought, why not put them on my head?

What a great idea, and so obvious! So I stitched one to a clip and was pretty pleased with the outcome. Then, I thought, why not stick a bunch of them on a comb? So here I sit, when I should be getting ready to go out, stitching up a flower.

Yep, I am probably going to be late...

Note to self- check post box more often

Although it was my birthday a couple of weekends ago, I finally got a chance to open my present sent by one of my best friends from uni. I am so thrilled with the purple, I have to make something with it. I have a pattern for a bag that would be really nice, and I need a new bag (or at least need to wash my old one, urgh!).

I knew straight away that I would crochet little flowers with the thread though. They are beautiful shades of purple (my tiny camera just doesn't quite do it), and would make a fantastic long necklace... Now where did I put my hooks?

My sweet friend also sent me an anniversary card, and so to differentiate the two put a date to open them on. This created a few moments of philosophical debate this morning as I lamented that I didn't want to wait another year for my specific birthday to come around again. Of course, this was all done while tearing the paper and squeaking with joy.

Thanks Goldie, you're tops :-)

Not another pony tail

I have recently gotten up the courage and cut a fringe into my hair. I have been puzzling over this for years, and finally just went ahead and did it. Now, in a tropical climate, I am starting to think having hair flopping in my face wasn't an entirely a sensible thing to do. Still I like it, and have since considered what else I could do to my hair (all of it requires a much cooler climate).

I have always wanted curly hair, and my suborn hair would never hold a curl. I considered hot rollers, but they are expensive and look like a lot of work for something that will end up requiring scissors to remove from my head. Instead, I am going to try out the no-heat curl and see how that goes...

If it doesn't work, I can always pin it back

Note: the picture is in french or something, but if you want a better look try here; http://pinterest.com/pin/69048434/

To delete or not to delete

I feel like having a rant about facebook. In particular how much I hate it, and how cheap I feel for not switching the damn thing off. I don't know why I keep it running, when every time I log on I feel like I have just wasted a heap of my time looking through the cheapest, crappiest gossip magazine around resulting in an indefinable greasiness. The longer this goes on the more I realise the dangers of continuing a friendship that would have otherwise died a natural death. In some cases its not just watching a trainwreck but the gruesome decomposition afterwards as well. I can't exactly pinpoint what it is about facebook that gives me the chills, a certain fakeness or perhaps its the way people use it.

Next time I will disconnect it...

Boring

I thought I had better get something up before I find myself posting a picture of a badger with July whooshing by. I have been keeping myself busy with work and... well... mainly work. Generally I have enough energy to come home and fall asleep. Still the work itself isn't too bad and I get to go to some really nice places. Here is a video of one of the creeks we go out to sample.

The weekends have been filled with work also, although it mainly involves me watching Luke work. Here is a picture of the weekend before last. The picture doesn't show it, but the ground was so dry and dusty that Luke was entirely orange by the time he got out of the bobcat.

I should make it clear though that its not entirely work. For my birthday weekend I entered the Jabiru Open golf thingie. It was an interesting couple of days and I learnt two things; 1. playing 36 holes of golf is surprisingly difficult and 2. I am not very good at playing golf. Still it was a lot of fun, and I can almost move my shoulders again.

Wha.. ?!?

ZOOM!!!

What was that?

Oh, it was June...

Things you shouldn't try when you are tiered

I tatted my first flower this evening and found there are some things you just shouldn't try when you are very tiered. Needle tatting is most likely close to the top of the list, somewhere near trying to carry out a phone conversation while learning to needle tat.

Its a bit wonky and doesn't look as good as the one in the video (and my version was accompanied by the sounds of feral budgies pushing each other off the swing and Jack continuously farting- I am sure its all the vegetables Luke is feeding him, unlike the birdsong in the video), but I am pretty pleased with my efforts. I think I will try it again when I have had enough sleep and patience.

Reflector legs

I have been keeping busy helping out Luke with his irrigation work on the weekends (when I say helping out, I mean following him about and preventing rolls of pipe from rolling onto the road). In recognition of all my hard work last weekend (and the sun tan I am slowly developing since my skin is so white it reflects the sun's rays and was possibly a danger to oncoming traffic- I thought I have finally gotten rid of my iridescent white legs when it turned out I was just covered in dust. Hurumph!) Luke very generously splurged* a whole $1.40 on a packet of four upholstery needles so I could have a go at tatting. So here is the result of a few hours of cursing and lots of tiny bits of knotted string...


*I am being facetious here, I actually asked for these needles and had overestimated the price as $2, so was totally thrilled at the 60c saving (which I kept and refused to give back, even though you probably cant even buy a redskin with it any more...)

Just stand there and dribble

Its the corporate cup challenge time of year. Its like the adult version of PE. Thankfully I have managed to skip a couple of years by hiding in Gove (the adult version of a note from your mummy). After my earlier experience of the dangers of "friendly" games, much in the same way "friendly fire" isn't particularly friendly, I had renewed my vow to never ever, under any circumstances, play another social team sport again.

Thankfully I arrived in Jabiru after most of the teams had been assembled, which saved me from having to think of an excuse for why I couldn't join in on the fly. I am not particularly good at making things up on the spot and probably would have told them that since I was abducted by aliens if I jump around too much my head falls off. Then I would have realised what I said and tried to sidle unnoticed from the room (of course at this point I would kick over a bin, making a huge noise thereby resulting in even more people looking at me and be left seriously thinking about telling them I can't speak English).

Today in the car on the way home there was a discussion about the rules of basketball and how they differ from the rules of half-court basket ball. All I could contribute was 1) don't forget your playing basket ball and start hitting people in the shins with a hockey stick and 2) if you aren't sure what to do, just start whistling and twirling the ball on your finger- everyone will be so amazed they will stop to watch how amazing you are. I was told that this only works for the Harlem Globetrotters

Thats just a chicken on stilts

I gobbled up all my internet early in the month, and have been unable to post anything because I keep getting disconnected from sites for being too slow. So now I have a few pictures to share, the best being what I thought was some sort of brown long legged relative to the jabiru. Being fairly short sighted I took a photo and figured I would see what kind of bird it was later. I was quite excited about it and was all prepared to send the picture to a friend who never quite got to see the jabiru's while she was in Gove.

It turns out it was a bird on a pole. Damn! I felt like a slack jawed local at a sideshow expecting to see a unicorn that turns out to be a large dog with a horn sticky taped to its head.

I also went out to see some of the drilling work being done on site, and part of the expedition involved a bridge crossing. Although the bridge had been constructed of plastic pallets which sort of floated on the water held in place with ropes. As you can imagine, we had arm loads of stuff to carry and the pallets were bobbing about in the current. I had a strange moment when I thought I was in sonic the hedgehog...

We got across (twice), with only some wet socks to show for it

Its not aliens

On Friday (when I originally intended to post this) there was an alignment of three planets (I can't remember which ones though) which were theorised to be either satellites or (of course) aliens by the astronomers at work. I know I much prefer the aliens explanation because then I probably wouldn't have to worry about spending 10 hours in front of a computer at work.

Besides there have been many instances of unexplained phenomena that could probably be attributed to aliens. For example, I tried four new pens and none of them worked, and we went through a whole roll of paper towel in one day.

Unfortunately my photo of the stars (not aliens) didn't really work out. I think you need a special camera to take these kind of photos...

5 hours later and I have a Katy Perry song stuck in my head

I have been horribly slack in keeping this blog updated. My grand plans for daily updates, or at least every couple of days, has been thwarted by my inability to get back into a routine. I am finding that after 10 hours at work, I am no longer able to even think coherently let alone string a sentence together. I figure either I'll get used to it, or I will become tiered enough to go to bed early and catch up on my sleep. Hurumph! I still want a puppy though.

So I thought to myself that I should get it together so I could resume my carefree blogging. This of course requires a topic, or at least an idea, something that has been eluding me lately. This afternoon on the way home inspiration finally bludgeioned me over the head- I would share the joy of carpooling with a MADD person. Let me explain...

When I was growing up, I had the misfortune to share a TV with a chronic channel flicker (this disorder is formally known as CCFD). It used to drive me bonkers, not so much the occasional channel change during the ad break, but the crazy mental flicking where the sound on the telly is broken up into incomplete words. This also results in a disco flicker, that would have had me fitting on the ground if I hadn't already gotten annoyed and left the room to read a book (I think had the CCFD suffer found you could create the same annoying effect by rapidly turning pages and trying to make out the story as the pages flashed by, they probably would stood over my shoulder flicking the pages wildly whilst commenting that if I drew a dot in the corner and moved it a bit for each page, it would look like the dot was bouncing around*).

Anyway, the point of this is that I have now identified another version of the terrible CCFDs- MADD. Thats music attention deficit disorder. This is where an aflicted person flicks through music tracks (or if that isn't possible, radio stations) never quite hearing an entire track in its entirety. At its best, the effect is like a mash-up of vaguely familiar songs that may or may not be intentional by the MADD sufferer. At worst, they wait until after the catchy bit of the song has played and then flicks. This results in not one but five horrible pop songs getting stuck in your head during a 10 minute trip. They then drop you off and leave you humming a song you just know will still be with you the following day. Damn MADD people.

*Actually they did impart this magical piece of trivia to me, along with the trick of making shrinky dinks out of chip packets on the stove. I shared both these gems with my best friend, and subsequently was banned from her house by her parents when she nearly burnt the house down attempting to shrink chip packets on the stove while they were at work.

Inspiration is like a squishy banana

I thought to myself this afternoon that I should stop being lazy and post something. All my grand plans to write something almost everyday is slowly resembling the squishy banana on the sink that I never get around to eating (and now throwing out).

As you can see, its just not happening this evening. I will have to find something interesting for next time...

*sigh*

The fat Jack sat on the mat

During the move, Jack got a little bit... fat. We thought perhaps he is stressed, especially since we cant explain to him what is going on....

Or maybe he is confused and depressed at the loss of being able to sit on the couch all day watching day time t.v...

Or perhaps it's because we don't walk him twice a day anymore now he has a yard to move around in...

What I am now starting to think, is that perhaps its because he is scoffing on the sly. They do say you are what you eat, and if Jack were to finish as he began, he would be 20kg of Bonnie Lite- food for fat old dogs. I can only imagine his delight when he found the box of food equal in size and weight to himself with the lid slightly ajar...

BUSTED!

He was genuinely surprised when I snapped this photo of him. Poor little dog also thinks he can hide under a dining table or behind a curtain and not be seen. Its a mixed blessing this is about as smart as he is going to get.

Better than bad, it's good

During the move I bought a few books to help pass the time. It seems I get just as much fun out of reading about things as doing them. One of the books had instructions for a wooden pincushion (here is a link to the book).

I took one look and was instantly transported back in time to being a kid and watching Ren and Stimpy (for those who have no idea what I am talking about, here is a link that should explain everything). I thought how great it would be to have a log pincushion, and with a few small modifications I could have one. I mean, everyone needs a log!

Another of my achievements that I feel compelled to share is today's lunch. I am one of those people who must have a recipe to cook from and must do a specialised shop just for that recipe. I have long envied Luke who can take half a potato, some stale bread and a paperclip and create an amazing meal (which I have to say is more impressive than MacGyver defusing a bomb whilst hanging upside down under a jumbo coming in to land with nothing more than a can of hairspray, a poem about cats and a post-it note).

Anyway, so here is the picture... and because I feel like a bit of a twat for taking a photo of my lunch and posting it on the Internet (a bit like the photos of people's feet while standing in a circle around a clover daisy or the pictures of someone holding an apple while looking vacantly at something above them and slightly to their right) I thought I would include the recipe that goes with it. I call it.... Chicken Noodle Soup (because that is what it is and I am not very good with names. I was thinking of calling it "chicken and noodles with bok choi and mushrooms in a clear broth", but thought that was a bit long and slightly pretentious).

Ingredients

4 cups chicken stock (make up according to directions)
1 tsp ginger
1 tsp chilli
1 tsp garlic
1 tsp coriander
1 tsp lemon grass
1 chicken breast
1 packet rice noodles
sesame oil
rice wine vinegar
1 bunch bok choi, washed and chopped in large chunks
1 handful of button mushrooms, washed and sliced
1 handful of chopped spring onions
Sesame seeds to serve
Pickled ginger to serve

Instructions
1. Pour chicken stock, ginger, chilli, garlic, coriander and lemongrass into a sauce pan. Add chicken breast and cook over a high heat until chicken breast is cooked (approx 7-8 minutes).
2. Remove chicken from stock and allow to cool, keep stock mixture.
3. Cook rice noodles according to packet instructions. Drain and toss through a splash of sesame oil and rice wine vinegar.
4. Warm bok choi and mushrooms in stock mixture, remove before bok choi wilts.

To serve
Place a serve of rice noodles in the bottom of the bowl. Add shredded chicken, mushrooms and bok choi, sprinkle over spring onions. Ladle in some of the stock mixture. Sprinkle sesame seeds over everything (in the bowl obviously) and add pickled ginger on top. Serve immediately.

To keep for Ron; put all ingredients into a bowl and the stock mixture into a glass. When ready to eat, heat each separately and combine just before serving. This will prevent the noodles turning to slush.

Too many boxes

I have almost finished the move to Jabiru, and I will be pleased not to have to scrunch another handful of paper for a while. I kind of fell off the edge of the world for a few weeks while the move happened and many hurdles were jumped (namely a few threats by the movers to not move me unless their demands were met. I was partially disappointed the demands weren't fired through my living room window tied to a flaming torch- some people have no understanding of drama at all!). I only have a few boxes left to unpack and I am hoping to get them finished by the end of the week so I can send all these boxes back (or have a fun bonfire in the vacant lot behind my place).

I have started on the week long series of inductions, the first being the cultural heritage induction to the area. I was expecting to be told how evil I am because I am white and cant possibly know what its like to be black, but actually had quite a good time (mainly because I wasn't voraciously ripped into by a hypocritical greenie extremist telling me how horrible I am before they even know my name... no, that was saved for the afternoon but I am choosing to ignore that person). Part of the day included a walk out to Burrunggui and the rock paintings there. I took a few pictures to share, mainly because it is a really amazing place.

The picture above shows three pillars called 'lightning dreaming' and Namarrgon left his eye up there to watch over everything that happens around Jabiru. This site can explain the Lightning Man better than I can.

This is a picture of the Mt Brockman ranges. It looks more impressive in real life (damn my tiny little camera that fits so easily into my bag!)

Of course I had to grab a photo of some of the rock art. Here are the mimi spirits that come out of the rock to show you how to dance (or hunt, I'm not sure since I was at the back of the group for this one- this is probably an important difference, I mean if you have an angry bear running at it you probably want to know the difference between the Charleston and a gun).

For the love of Gadget

I have to admit that I have a secret nerdy love of gadgets. Yes, I was one of those annoying people who had to test out every single feature on each phone upgrade. Imagine my joy in my iphone when not only could I spend ages mucking around with all the standard features, I could download all sorts of pointless apps to annoy everyone around me with.

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I have been secretly coveting a kindle in order to combine my love of gadgets with my love of books. Then apple went and released the ipad and my desire was changed to wanting an ipad. Now I will spend the next four years with my face pressed up against the metaphorical shop window as I admire the ipad from afar.

(photo link)

A little bit Borgo

When I first moved to the gloriously unkempt neighbourhood of Moulden, I likened it to the village of Bistritz in Count Dracula. During the day everything is fine, and there are kids playing in the street, people gardening, the usual suburban scene. After sunset however, you would think you were in a carriage drawn by skeleton horses racing the sun through Borgo Pass. There is the slight panic at sunset to get home and lock the gates. I haven't gone so far as to hang up garlic and throw horse shoes at passer bys.

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The point of this, is that yesterday the street was all lovely and quiet- a bit like this...

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At about 3 in the morning, approximately the time it takes to drunkenly stumble down the hill after the pubs close, the street looked more like this....
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Yes, there was a drunken group of idiots punching on in the street. The police arrived, and for an hour my bedroom was like a silent rave party with occasional muffled expletives. Then they all buggered off leaving me surprisingly wide awake. I used this time to imagine that if I could have one magical superpower it would be to teleport those bogans who ruined my night into remote areas of... say... the Sahara desert. As my inability to sleep continued, the places became more lethal such as a small air bubble in a deep sea cave or perhaps even Pluto.
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So I lay there all morning looking like this...
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(Original image link)

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While the tough guard dog and stoic husband slept soundly next to me. I tried to nudge them both 'accidentally' awake, but those two could sleep through an alien abduction of the type in the X-files that includes shaking walls, bright white lights and Moulder in the corner shouting "SAAAAAAMMMMMAAAANTHAAAAA!". In the end I fell back asleep as the sun was coming up and therefore the terror of night time in Bistritz became (once again) the benign suburban bliss of Moulden.

Stop stomping on my fluffy pink clouds of happiness

I have been having a merry time floating along on fluffy pink clouds of happiness. I don't have to think about work, or having to achieve anything much more than waking up sometime through the day and feeding myself. After the turmoil of the last few days, it is bliss.

That is, until the real estate agent in Gove decides they want to come stomping into my happy pink cloud and ruin everything. I keep getting random calls, "courtesy calls" as they like to call them (more like "bloody-stupid-notices-of-impending-invasion-of-privacy calls") stating they just need to: 1) pop by to see what sort of condition the unit is in; 2) pop by to check on the air conditioning unit; 3) pop by to have this months staff party since we know you are out of town and your flat is still furnished.

There is no point in telling them not to. They cheerily respond that they don't mind and they have a key and can let themselves in. I have told them in the past that I have a vicious dog that will bite their leg off and beat them with it if they try to enter my home while I am not there- and that slowed down the cheery courtesy calls telling me they are letting themselves into the unit (while hearing in the background the turning of a key in the lock and the characteristic squeek of my front door).

Now they know Jack isn't there (and ignoring the fact he generally hides behind the couch and lets me deal with any newcomers to the unit- tough guard dog eh?), they are brimming over with enthusiasm to wander in and out of my home whenever they are in the neighbourhood. I think I will have to remind them of a little thing called the Residential Tenancies Act. Stupid real estate agents!

Leaving home

Despite finishing work last week, I still ended up going in for a few more days to finish off all my 'unfinished business'. I can see now why ghosts hang around for so long. They are probably still catching up on all the missed calls for stupid things like documents that are freely available on a shared drive in a folder of the same name... urgh!

I got a lift home with some of the guys from work and was momentarily stunned to be told "don't worry about being stupid, its not your fault you're a girl'. I was instantly flung back to primary school and experienced those few seconds before knocking a pompous little ass to the ground. Instead I smiled and politely said "that's okay, I think you're a dickhead" and continued talking to someone else.

I was later told the suave gentleman is single and expressed my complete lack of surprise. In fact my exact words were; "well if he uses the chat up line 'hey you stupid chick, wanna go out' I can't imagine why he isn't prying off all the girls with a stick".

I think its good I'm leaving Gove and never got too involved with the local wild life. What a charmer!

So after I was dropped off, I was greeted with the above image. These are guys who work at the refinery and therefore should know all about the importance of safety. Its clear though that safety is something that happens to someone else. I stood in absolute wonder and thought "geeze I hope the balcony holds and we don't end up with old mate on the ground squished under a set of shelves, a balcony rail and two rather surprised dinguses".

Of course it was great that old mate on the ground was manoeuvring the shelves by dangling off a rope- clearly they had thought this through. I hung around waiting for something exciting to happen. All that happened was that the shelves got stuck a few times on the middle balcony and there were lots of pointless directions shouted that didn't actually result in a tangible improvement in the situation.

Ah Gove! I will miss your shear craziness!

Self-inflicted insomnia

I had plans to write something brilliant this evening, but now feel like I have a head filled with marshmallow and have completely forgotten what the brilliant thing is. I blame my lapse in drinking a caffeinated drink just before bedtime last night and bouncing around for five hours afterwards unable to even consider going to sleep. So now I am sleep deprived and am having troubles just thinking of basic words more than two syllables long. The worst part is that it is all self inflicted. I know I don't cope too well with caffeine, why on earth did I drink a cup of strong black tea right before bed?
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Ah yes, yesterday was magazine day and I was busy getting all excited about the catalogues* I get individually posted out to me** (because I am unlucky enough not to have a real mail box that gets stuffed full of junk mail. How stupid, you spend ages trying to prevent an influx of crap into your letterbox when you have one, but when it does stop there is some sort of strange withdrawal)- and you have to have a cup of tea while reading through one, its just part of the experience. Anyway, I have found a whole new list of things I wanna get... the Fjord Ponies for example.
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*The link is to the electronic version of the catalogue. Be prepared if you click on it, the scrunchy page turning sound effect nearly made me jump through the roof... then I turned the speakers down
**Actually its only one catalogue, but for some reason I receive three copies each time. Perhaps they are for swapsies... Does anyone want one?

Owl cross stitch chart

I have been meaning to post this for a while now. In the lead up to Christmas I went completely irresponsibly Christmassy and even bought a nasty plastic Christmas tree that scared my budgies. I am sure a lot of the festivities seemed like crazy monkey games to them, but I loved it. Only I didn't have enough stuff to hang off it (sure, if I put too much on the tree was in danger of either toppling over because only 1/3 of it was visible in the corner or the branches would fall off)- so I made some ornaments.
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One of my favourites is this little owlie that I saw somewhere while looking at pictures on google pictures and thought 'I could make that... or at least something that looks like that if you squint and take 10 steps back from it'. So now here it is, the results of my googling and stitching combined to share... perhaps a bit late for Christmas, maybe it could be an Easter owl, or an ANZACC day owl or something...

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Procrastination butterflies

I have had a black work pattern that I have been wanting to stitch for ages. Today I had a suitably horrible task (cleaning the oven of terror) that made procrastination possible and I was able to stitch up this butterfly.

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(Link to pattern)

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Now I have grand plans of one day doing the whole sampler that has 16 variations of the same butterfly or the really really big one. Perhaps if the oven at the new place is horrific enough, I will be able to get the whole lot done fairly soon...

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Capital letters are always the best way of dealing with things you don't have a good answer for

After a few goes, I made some Teeny Tiny Crochet Flowers. I did some housework too, but that isn't worth taking a photo (or even capital letters). I think I will try a few different types of flowers and see which ones look best. These ones are from blue girl xo and seemed to work out okay. I ended up using a 1.5mm crochet hook and some Perle 8 cotton. Now all I have to do is Take a Decent Photo of Them...

My next project

I have been inspired for a quick new project I saw while googling randomly. This is a picture of a flower chain that I want to turn into a necklace. I am not sure a cotton necklace is a good idea in the sweaty tropics, but they are pretty nice looking.

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I have found a few tutorials for some easy looking flowers at How to Crochet a Flower and the adventures of bluegirl. I think if I use a fine crochet cotton or a perle cotton and the smallest hook I have, and I will hopefully be able to make something that looks like the photo. I am thinking this will be a nice distraction from cleaning the oven this weekend...

Humble cake

I feel a bit like an ass at the moment. I was feeling pretty crappy at being told there would be no cake and not even getting an invite to my own farewell party. Hurumph! It was a bit of a surprise to find an enormous cake, covered in chocolate cream, and even a present at the farewell party. It just goes to show that it is best not to expect anything and to be happy with whatever turns out.

Its my party and I'll have cake if I want to

Its my last official day at work tomorrow and I am really looking forward to some time off. The last few months have been crazy busy and I feel slightly like I have fallen through a mirror and I am wandering around trying to play croquet with an emu (I am in Australia after all).

We are having a farewell lunch tomorrow, and I have already been gruffly told that there won't be any cake (they really know how to make you feel welcome). I thought to hell with it, I want cake so I'm taking a cake.

People generally like the cinnamon tea cake I make (thanks Carla and your Ag Show winning recipes), so I made one this evening and I'll take it along tomorrow. I like it, its not a big ostentatious cream filled monstrosity (and its rustic because I am too lazy to carefully fold the baking paper into the tin).

Hurrah for the back yard

With the prospect of a yard again (even if its so small a ferret would feel cramped in it), I wanna puppy (or should I say puppeeeeeee). I don't mind that they chew the crap out of everything and poop all over the place. I will try to be sensible and wait a couple of days after I start my new job to see how much time I actually have (probably won't be much with the change to a 10hr day. That leaves 14hrs when I am not at work, sure for most of that I am just lying around the place with my eyes shut but that's not the point- I wanna puppeeee).

Teeny tiny beanie

While sitting huddled under a lamp because the crap energy saving bulbs put out less light than a birthday candle, I finally got around to crocheting some stuff for a friend who recently had a baby. Since I have about four friends who have recently had babies I am probably not giving too much away (with the exception that they all had boys except for one girl and this stuff is in pink...)
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So here it is (I have only got one bootie done and it will probably be months before I get the other one done, but you get the idea). I was thinking to myself how cute they are and everything when I got the idea that I should check to make sure they would fit a real baby. The short answer is no, they probably wouldn't. Hurumph!

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Here is a photo of them, but this time with something to give you an idea of scale...

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As you can see, unless its a premie baby it is all probably way too small. Shame I don't know anyone planning a premie baby because in about four years I might have the other bootie done. Anyway, I am now going to settle down and read the instructions properly and make another one and hopefully this time it will be the right size (its still raining). The instructions say a newborn's head is approximately 15". 15"! That's huge. This little beanie is about 10" and the bootie is about 2.5" (supposed to be 3.5").

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If anyone is interested, you can get the beanie pattern at Imagine and the bootie pattern at CrochetMe

Lightning magnet

I feel completely dudded by the crap weather we are having here at the moment. I had planned on playing some golf today (which makes me sound like a complete bumpkin, but I don't care. I also crochet stuff and have once listened to a Katy Perry song), but it has been rainy and drizzly all day. I would go anyway but I am completely paranoid about getting struck by lightning or something crazy. I'd be like that old guy out of Benjamin Button that got struck by lightning seven times. Then every one at work will use me as a 'safety share*'... again.

*Whimsical little tidbits of safety at the beginning of each meeting, kinda like Captain Planet's message at the end of each episode only lamer.

Bigpond logic

Bigpond makes no sense- I have to download some software to fix my wireless connection but need an Internet connection to do this. Spooty Internet!

A 5 ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut

I am starting to get more excited at the prospect of moving. There are so many possibilities that open up when you're not on the equivalent of a metaphorical desert island with only the things you could save from your sinking cruise liner and what can be cobbled together from coconuts.

One of my grand plans to consume what must turn out to be copious amounts of free time is to have a go at building something from Ana White's website (have a look and see if you aren't inspired too). I'll soon be close to a hardware shop that perhaps realises that a 300% markup doesn't make sustainable business sense (no I am not making this up, they actually tried to charge $15 for a packet of out of date mint seeds). Then I will be able to use my husband's love of power tools to my advantage... mwah ha ha ha ha!

Finish with a win

I am dogless at the moment. Ickle Jack is in Darwin with Luke and I never realised how much I would miss the hairy stink ball. Its really very strange not to hear him rampantly scratching his butt in the middle of the night and to have to make the effort to wake up just enough to yell at him to stop before crashing back into the pillow and sleep. Its the same with the budgies and their antics at shoving each other off the perch and inexplicitly coming to life at 10pm as I am trying to go to bed. Everything is much quieter.

Despite all the doglessness and budgielessness, I had a rollercoaster ride of an afternoon that I think I will share in a 'good news, bad news' way. I have broken the world record for the time it takes to register a car. I was able to get the car inspected and registered in under 30min. Completely unheard of! Good news. Its just a shame I lost track of time and my car ran out of rego and was done at the last minute. Bad news. But when I went to put the new sticker on, the old sticker came off in one go- Good news. I lost $100 out of my pocket on my way to the driving range while someone from work called me after hours and yacked on about work despite me telling them that I couldn't do anything until tomorrow when I was back at work- Bad news. I wrote off the $100 never expecting to see it again, only when I got home and went to open the garage door, there was $50 on the ground... AND another $50 a few steps away. I found my lost $100!- Good news.

My kingdom for a pen

I have been meaning to put something up as a big thank you to my good friend who heard my lament at being unable to make it to an office works and sent me some fancy pens. They are brilliant, and I have been torn between using them and saving them for special things. Luckily she sent me two, so now I can do both (which is tricky since they are exactly the same and it can get confusing which one is being saved for special things and which one is being gluttonously used).

Being the tops chicky that she is (and knowing my irrational love of Christmas despite being so horribly unorganised and always sending out Christmas cards so they arrive some time in the new year... around Easter), she brought me back some gorgeous Christmassy candles. I am waiting until I move before I set fire to these cute candles and dance around pretending its December. I am a bit upset I couldn't get a good photo of them (I really must learn how to take decent photos), but you get the idea..
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One thing I am looking forward to is paying less than $2 a litre for fuel. I have been mocked in the past for exaggerating these things, but its true. And just to prove it, I took a photo of a fuel price that would make you wish a car that runs on love and happy thoughts was invented. Now here is a reason to sob uncontrollably when the fuel thingy doesn't click off in time and $10 runs down the side of the car, as happened this afternoon. I thought to myself, there goes what could have been three very expensive passionfruit bought from the local supermarket, spilt all over the ground because of a broken fuel thingy... *sigh*

I don't ever want to win the lottery

I am starting to think that I should never have promised to write something everyday. What a disappointment that turned out to be. Perhaps I should promise that I won't win a million zillion billion dollars in the lottery next week...

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I have been noticing that when I say I definitely won't do something, somehow I always end up doing it. For example, I once told some friends at uni that I would never move to the Northern Territory because that's what bogans do. Then I promptly moved to the Northern Territory the following year. Of course I don't like it, I knew that much before I moved, but still I moved here. Its an odd place to end up when I have always wanted to move to Tasmania, even before I visited it. Perhaps I should have said I never want to move somewhere nice and cool, I would much rather live somewhere where its possible to make your eyes sweat.

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So now I am moving again, this time to Jabiru a few hours from Darwin. It seems that I have gone about as remote as I ever want to, and am now slowly making my way back towards civilisation and perhaps one day a place with many different shops. Still I am getting ahead of myself here. For now I will be happy to be within driving distance of a small town (one that doesn't require a massive 4WD equipped with a winch, an emergency beacon and one of those wheel covers that says something pithy like "don't follow me I'm going fishing" as if people often just follow them around- which is just poor judgement really because what if they are going to the shops or something? Perhaps they have a few covers that say things like, "don't follow me I'm going to the shops for a pie" or "don't follow me I'm going to the dentist and he doesn't like crowds and its important not to upset someone who can pull out all your teeth then charge you for it" and they just put on the one that applies to the trip).